Joy Abounds!

I stopped carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders today.  I don't know why I had carried it so long.  The good Lord had tried to get me to give it up for some time.  He allowed it to make me sick, sad and totally depressed, but I still gripped it tight like a security blanket.  He told me it was a sign of lacking faith in Him to hold on so tight.  But still I would draw it near.  Didn't He understand?  I AM the only one who can care for those I love!  THEY couldn't survive without me and I couldn't bear the thought of ever loosing them to death.  Then He reminded me that all mankind must die, EVEN ME.  He gave me a glance of life on earth after I was gone.  My loved ones would be fine, He would be there to guide and protect.  He said I must move from denial and face the truth, because it would not only set me free, but it would bring great joy to my life.  He was oh so right!

That was over 10 years ago.  During that 10 years, rather than worry about the ones I love getting sick/hurt/killed/loosing their job/getting in debt/being alone, getting lost in the world or misunderstanding me, I have tried to be positive, supportive, non-judgmental and happy to see them each time we meet, have fun while we are together and send them away with an "I love you" and a silent prayer.  I don't try to solve problems before they exist; I just try to live one day at a time.   When there is so much work to do that it will never get done, I choose what is required, delegate what should be done by others, leave what must be left till tomorrow, learn to live without some things ever getting done and make sure to have some fun each day, even if it's just laughing at my own mistakes.  You know what I've learned?  The problems are still there, but they are not nearly as heavy to bear.  

I am now not only in middle age, but on the other side (It's true, HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WHO ARE 100 years old?  Not many, right? Well 53 (my age)+ 53 is over a 100, even in new math).   I know that I will lose loved ones to death, I already have.  But the joy of the past 10 years of knowing them without fears, worries, anxieties and frustrations controlling our life’s produced good memories to help heal the pain.  Joy over bounds!  And I have the knowledge that those left behind will have good memories of joyful times when I am gone, too.  Thank you Lord for reminding me that LIFE is not a dress rehearsal.  It should be lived with energy, excitement, joy, fun, family, friends and love.  We should work like it all depends on us, pray like it all depends on God and never worry about the results.  Why worry about results..., especially death? God is in control.  Yes, we will all die.  But look at the promises we have waiting for us on the other side.  Even death is a reason to celebrate; and, until then we have LIFE, LIFE in the fullest.  No wonder I am filled with JOY!

Linda M.